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Blessed Stupidity |
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Dec 19, 2008 - 10:01 AM - by Thunderchunk
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I've spent a lot of time in school. That doesn't mean that I'm smart, but it means people tried to teach me things for many years. Unfortunately for me, some of that education stuck. Now, you may think, "But Thunderchunk, isn't it good to be smart?" The answer, I'm afraid, is no, as I shall explain below. Do your best not to actually learn anything from it, for your own good.
The first really worthwhile trait of stupidity is its tendency to make the world strange and wonderful. You and I might watch decoded digital signals on our TVs, but the truly ignorant get live performances from tiny little people. For smart people, the Internet is a treacherous obstacle course of misinformation and biased opinions. While an invaluable tool, any information attained there must be carefully considered before it can be truly believed. For the profoundly dim, the net is a magical place that actually makes things true! Want to believe that dinosaurs never died out, they merely turned... [Read More]
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0 Replies | 6 Views
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Dec 11, 2008 - 3:38 PM - by Thunderchunk
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0 Replies | 21 Views
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Deadbaby Flamebait: DEAD BABIES! |
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Dec 10, 2008 - 4:47 PM - by Thunderchunk
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Well, I said I'd do it, and here it is. If you have a dead baby, or have a baby that died, or ARE a dead baby, you might be bothered by the subject of this Deadbaby Flamebait entry, which is dead babies. If you have an emotional sensitivity to dead babies, or dead baby humor, then I emplore you to stop reading this dead baby article, and find a non-dead baby article. If you are still reading, I'd like to talk to you about dead babies. Believe it or not, my friends and I discuss dead babies quite frequently. Typically, when we are seeking a “think outside the box” solution to something, dead babies tend to find their way into the equation. This isn't a new or original thing, I realize. Jonathan Swift, noted satirist and author of Gulliver's Travels, wrote a book called A Modest Proposal. The subject? Dead Babies. He posited that we had the twin problems of over population and world hunger, and that there was a simple solution. Eat babies. Now, moral considerations aside (you'll find I... [Read More]
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0 Replies | 22 Views
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Deadbaby Flamebait: Alzheimer's Disease |
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Dec 04, 2008 - 11:41 AM - by Thunderchunk
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I am Irish and Italian. That means, among other things, that while other people eat fatty foods and binge drink to deal with stressful problems, for me it is a celebration of cultural heritage. That means that I have to find some other way to deal with life's problems. I tend to poke fun at it. At everything. Nothing is off limits. Man trampled to death. Hilarious! House goes on fire? A laugh riot! This has led to a number of unusual side effects. First, when I complain about things that are genuinely of concern, people laugh. Second, when I joke about things in a way I consider to be absurd and just for laughs, I am taken seriously. Evidently my friends and family don't think I could seriously be worried about a toenail dropping off and having a bloody sock every night, but every oblique reference to suicidal tendencies is deadly serious. Probably that's a sane attitude on their part, but I'm hardly in any position to decide what is and is not sane at this point. At any rate, I've... [Read More]
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0 Replies | 32 Views
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The Unawesome Valley |
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Dec 02, 2008 - 2:12 PM - by Thunderchunk
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I'm not the most happening dude. My wardrobe consists of five sets of work clothes and a pair of sweatpants. The other day I was riding to work playing The Adventures of Lolo 3 on a hacked Nintendo DS, and looking up the frequently asked questions for The Adventures of Lolo 3 on my smartphone, while listening to Tetris Techno Remix on a PDA. It was then that I realized that I had launched in one side of pathetic and out the other. I was so uncool that it was cool. I was, in that moment, Nega-Awesome. Because I'm completely out of my mind, I decided to analyze the concept. It is fascinating... well, okay, it is completely inane. But here it is anyway.
Nega-Awesomeness, also known as So-Bad-It's-Good Syndrome and The B-Movie Effect, is anything but unusual. Go watch Flash Gordon. That is the best bad movie ever. Rocking Queen guitar riffs backing up a blonde meat-head football-fighting aliens while a crude stereotype looks on. Classic. It... [Read More]
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0 Replies | 40 Views
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